WRITING EVERY DAY, EVEN IF IT SUCKS

Dear Reader,

Happy August! Happy Monday!

Sarah and I just had the joint realization about Garfield’s hatred of Monday’s: so he obviously hates them, but why? He doesn’t have a job. He doesn’t go to school. He’s a cat and should have no particular preference or even awareness for the days of the weeks. But he does and he hates Mondays.

But maybe this is because Jon (his owner, I spelled that right, right?) does! So Mondays signify the end of the weekend and mean that Jon will be absent for much more of Garfield’s life for the next few days and obviously that’s sad and lonely and Garfield just really loves Jon! Isn’t that beautiful?
(Sidenote: I haven’t read Garfield comics in years so I don’t know how well this theory holds up. Does Jon have a job? Taking care of Garfield seems like a full-time job to me.)

Here’s another funny thing that happened this week: Sarah came downstairs in short shorts and I said “oh my God can you please put on longer pants?!” and she said “they’re called shorts for a reason Sam!”

Touche.

A lot happens in our home between Sarah and I that make me laugh but probably aren’t funny enough to document but also I still don’t want to forget them, so I’ll just write them someplace so when she tries to decline living with me in a few years I can pull out the list and say “but look at how much fun we have!! We’re so good together!”

One of these things is the other day I was in her room only wearing a bra and I sighed and said “I think I’m skinny fat” and she said “Sam, you’re beautiful,” and I yelled, “well I didn’t say I was ugly!

Honestly you’ve just got to be able to make yourself laugh and if you find someone who gets you enough to help you out and ensure that you laugh at least, I’d say, 75 times a day, then you’re pretty golden.

So what is the point of this entry? Just a hello, I guess. A quick check to see if any people out there are still reading this blog. An announcement that I will be back starting now and trying to post more often (maybe I’ll do a BEDA–blog every day of August–I think that’s the acronym). We shall see.

If you’ve made it this far please recommend something for me to watch on Netflix because I am quickly flying through every Netflix-made series, comedy special, and throwback movie on that site. So any suggestion would be highly appreciated. (I, myself, recommend Stranger Things, Ali Wong: Baby Cobra, and The Fundamentals of Caring).

Sincerely,

Sammy

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{NEW VIDEO} SARAH AND I GET CULTURED

Dear Reader,

Great things are happening!!! Sarah and I have now completed 5 out of the 30 items on the bucket list. We have plans to finish a lot of the others within the next two weeks. AND I already finished editing the vlog of us going to the Toledo Museum of Art and writing on the Before I Die wall!

I still have to finish editing/upload the video of what we did in camera and the one about what the psychic told me, but I really think I’m getting better at making videos! (You can be the judge of that though.)

Anyway, it’s Sunday morning, I’ve got the whole day/week ahead of me, and things are looking good.

Sincerely,

Sammy

SOMETHING TERRIFYING HAS HAPPENED

Dear Reader,

I’ve considered myself a serious fan of YouTubers since about freshman year of high school. I don’t say that to sound intense or to elevate myself in any way (if anything, the phrase “serious YouTube fan” probably sounds a little lame), I just want to clarify because it was a realization.

It’s weird when you’re on the internet for so long, watching these videos of people with huge followings, and then you go and talk to your friends and they are completely unaware of these, let’s just say the word here, celebrities.

They’re much more well known now because of their books and their crossovers on television and the overall increase in social media fame, too, but there was a point when the only people I could really reference to classmates were NigaHiga and Jenna Marbles.

It was at this point that I wanted to become a YouTuber–and who wouldn’t?? I’m not trying to undermine anything that they do, but even they will admit that it’s the best job out there. Money aside, even, you get to spend your days traveling and collaborating and socializing and being creative.

I wanted in from the beginning, but I didn’t have a particular talent. I grew up writing in my room for hours on end and I was completely content with being alone to entertain myself. I wasn’t necessarily a natural-born performer.

Besides, I didn’t have any content I wanted to produce. I couldn’t sing. I couldn’t really act. I hadn’t ever tried writing a skit and I couldn’t even tell stories particularly well.

Funny enough, I now have a YouTube channel even though none of that has really changed.

But the difference here is that I’m not trying to make YouTube my job. It might be if I could choose, but I can’t. Not really. It’s more up to people–to the audience–to decide who makes it big on YouTube.

So I’m just here trying to find a new medium to document my life. Sometimes I make videos to pass the time. Sometimes I make them to try new things. Sometimes I make them to share something I love.

I got a text back in the fall from a friend–completely out of the blue–that said, “wtf you have a YouTube channel??”

He found it because of a stuuupid mistake, and seeing that text made my heart drop, but it ended up being one of the best things that happened for us. He loves YouTube, too, and is creative in expressing himself (see his blog here) and we became really close because of it.

Other random people in my life know about it, and other close friends do as well, but yesterday I had the same feeling that I had this past fall when I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom watching the video of Sarah and I sharing our summer bucket list.

I love my Mom and I tell her most things. I’ve complained to her about hangovers and confessed that I’ve only ever cracked my phone (or dropped it in a toilet) when I’m drunk off my ass. And her seeing this one video of Sarah and I (especially since she really didn’t seem all that shocked or confused by it–she only commented that she liked my editing when it zoomed in on Sarah’s face) isn’t a big deal. It’s what could come that is.

If my mom knows something, she will most likely tell my dad. And if she knows my “Sincerely Sammy” username, they could easily find the channel again. Or, more importantly, this blog.

I would have no problem letting them know about the channel. I could vlog more freely and make videos with Sarah when they’re actually home. I could use her computer to edit and not have to lie that it’s for a school project. Things would be easier.

If they know about the blog, things could get harder.

This is my safe space. I come here to vent and to analyze and to clarify and eventually grow. I come here to make sense of my life and I often pick apart pieces of my past when trying to make sense of my present.

I don’t care if they read about my trip to Gulf Shores or my book reviews for The Empty Bookshelf.

I care if they read about my depression and my ADD and my analysis of their parenting. I care if they read my entries from freshman year (and even this past fall semester) and see, firsthand, how much I was struggling.

I don’t want them to find out how much I’ve kept from them. Because what they know won’t hurt them, and ignorance is bliss. I don’t want to shatter that now.

Because just like how this blog brought Zach and I closer together, it could act as a wedge in my relationship with my parents that could drive us even further apart.

Sincerely,

Sammy

[VIDEO] THE ONE WHERE SARAH GRADUATES

Dear Reader,

 

Sarah graduated on Sunday and will be attending a college in the fall that is four hours away from me (which is a problem because neither of us will have a car).

Until we part ways, you can expect a lot more videos (vlogs and otherwise) that feature her.

I’m excited.

Sincerely,

Sammy

[NEW VIDEO] SARAH’S REACTION TO HER BIRTHDAY VIDEO

Dear Reader,

I’m sure this video interests no one but giving Sarah her presents this year was one of my favorite parts of break so far and I had a good time recording it and editing it (and then showing that to her and laughing about even more stupid things) so here it is for anyone who wants to watch it.

Enjoy!

Sincerely,

Sammy

FULL SWING

Dear Reader,

Today has been a surprisingly productive day. Also, I’ve been having more ideas for YouTube videos lately and have actually had the energy and drive to try and do them, but I’m not sure if that’s just because of boredom and the fact I’m home alone a lot more now that Sarah is back at school.

Anyway, here’s the new video for the week (I know I linked it at the end of the last one but it would’ve bugged me if I didn’t make a separate post for it):

And I think I’m going to try and get another one up for Sarah’s birthday on Saturday (let’s hope I didn’t just jinx myself)

I want this momentum for my channel and blog to keep up through January and, well, the rest of the month.

I have ideas–let’s see if I actually implement them.

Sincerely,

Sammy

SO I TRIED VLOGGING

Dear Reader,

I tried out the YouTube thing again. This time it was in the form of a vlog.

The verdict is still out on whether or not my life is interesting enough to try this again.

Sincerely,

Sammy