MAYBE APRIL IS ALWAYS HARD

Dear Reader,

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this or not, but I’m collecting stuff from this year and turning it into a book. It’s not really for anyone–it’s just a glorified journal, really. In fact, with the posts I’ve been writing so far, I probably won’t want anyone else to read it.

Anyway, I’m organizing the stuff for April because I just realized that it’s almost halfway over, and looking back through it all, it’s been pretty rocky.

And then looking back to last year’s April–well, that was really rocky, too. (I can’t even listen to my April (2015) playlist in order because it automatically causes tears to spring to my eyes)

But maybe April is always hard. Maybe it’s the pressure of final deadlines and the struggle of not being able to combat my laziness/habits that come with ADD. I actually already wrote a post for tonight about how much I hate being a person with ADD, but that turned out to be really self-deprecating and just mean (I didn’t feel like holding back), so I decided not to post it.

Tucked it away for my journal, instead.

And then I looked back at the journal entries I’ve made throughout April and all the other blog posts I haven’t been able to publish because they’re too dark or whatever–and then I went on my Instagram.

I’ve been doing this picture-a-day challenge and everyday, there’s a new picture of me, grinning wide, often with people, looking so happy.

My April looks so happy.

And at times, it has been. I’ve had some good memories this month and I’ve taken pictures with people who mean a lot to me.

But I’ve also cried in class.

I’ve also stayed awake all night, worrying about all the stuff I need to do,

all the while, not being able to gain the momentum to get it done.

I’ve questioned just about everything I’ve done this semester

and I’m pretty sure I’ve done just about everything wrong.

So here I am, writing this in the library. It’s past midnight so the weekend is over. The week I’m dreading has technically begun, and it’s that time of year where I need this semester to be over just as much as I need more time.

I know I’ll get through it, though. I know May will come and soon I’ll be home with my sister and April will just be a memory I can forget.

But until then, I’ll just keep smiling in my selfies and save my thoughts for my journal.

Sincerely,

Sammy

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AN OUTRAGED LETTER TO INSTAGRAM

Dear Reader,

My life is ridiculous enough for mildly entertaining stories, but not ridiculous enough for me to eventually make a sitcom out of my experiences, and that makes me sad.

If you don’t already know, I’ve been posting on instagram every day this year for a 365-day-challenge (except it’s a leap year so 366 days, except this story brings me back down to 365. You’ll get it in a sec.) So yesterday I posted this picture:

With THIS caption: (literally this same exact one because I always send the caption to my sister first and if she says it’s funny, I’ll post it and if she says it’s not, I’ll say YOU’RE NOT FUNNY and post it.)

“I prefer to take my selfies on Snapchat because honestly the filters are 100x better.”

And THEN today I log on and see THIS.

NOW, a little MORE background information. When something on instagram could be offensive or doesn’t agree with the morals behind my sorority, we can get “ducked” by our risk management chair, which basically means they put an emoji of a duck on our picture and we either have to change the caption or delete the photo because it is not appropriate to post (in one way or another).

In the past four days, I’ve been ducked TWICE.

And then today this happens??

So basically what I’ve decided is that I am incapable of making captions that aren’t offensive and I should probably just give up on instagram before I am ostracized by everyone who’s ever known me.

But anyway, I sent in a complaint and I’ll let you know what they say in return. Because honestly this is more entertaining to me than studying for linguistics.

Here’s the note:

“Dear Instagram,

I am very upset because my picture yesterday was taken down for an unclear reason. You can go look at my recent post to see both the picture and the message that I received when I logged on today, but basically I posted a picture that I took on snap chat and said, “I prefer to take my selfies on snap chat because honestly the filters are 100x better.” The picture featured me using the snap chat app to look like a bunny. It was a joke (v funny in my opinion) and I was offended that it was taken down.

I have posted every day on this app since the beginning of 2016 and this blunder caused me to mess up my streak. Needless to say, I am LIVID. It got positive feedback in my community and I got hella likes so I would appreciate a response so I can try to understand the reasoning behind why the picture was taken down or what exact guidelines I failed to follow.

Please respond as soon as you can or I might have to take my talent elsewhere.”

Sincerely,

Sammy