WEEK SIX: SRATS, SELFIES AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

Dear Reader,

Hey remember a few weeks ago when I said that I had a really bad week but I wanted to focus on the good because I probably wouldn’t remember the little details if I recorded them? Well, this week was worse, so let’s do that again!

Good thing #1 of week six is this: I JOINED PHI MU!!!

I’ve talked about rush a little bit here and there, and there will be an entirely separate post about it later, but I could not be happier to be a phi mu! I was really worried because I could see myself fitting in any of the last three sororities, but I couldn’t go to their last events because I was so sick on Saturday (one of the bad things, so we’re just going to skip over details).

But bid day was fantastic! I feel right at home and really lucky that I chose phi mu, because I fit in a lot more than I thought I would. And these girls are so friendly, and I’m already so inspired by a lot of them! I just can’t wait to see what my future will become with this amazing group of women. 🙂

Yeah and then the rest of my week definitely had good moments, but a lot of it was just really bad. It’s just crazy how much of a rollercoaster my emotions are on in college. I mean, I had some moments of true happiness this week, but then I would just think about something and I’d go right back down.

That’s actually what a lot of it was–just me in my own head. And the hardest part was that my computer was dead for a few days so I couldn’t write about it–not that I would necessarily blog about it, but I have a private journal that I’ve been writing in for seven years now, and it just helps me through things. I like writing for clarity. So it was just hard not having that this week when I really needed to sort stuff out. (I tried to on pen and paper but it was just not happening)

But I had some productive, though sleepless nights.

And I checked off another item on my bucket list because of it! (I watched the sunrise, but the best pictures I took were still when it was pretty dark out so here ya go)

And I’ve decided I want to dye my hair blue! So either this

Or this

So yeah. Big things are happening here in Ohio. There’s always something to look forward to.

Sincerely,

Sammy

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IN DIRE NEED

I need spring break. Not your typical college spring break with just me and some bffs on a beach in Florida surrounded by half- (if not more) naked drunk people all day. I need a vacation.

I need to escape life for a little bit, just one week, and be alone. I need to reflect on myself and buckle down and get some work done. There are too many distractions around here, and they’re drowning me.

I just want to drive to Florida and live in a small beach house–even a beach shack would do–and spend every day waking up to the sound of the ocean. I would go for a walk on the beach, maybe even a run if I felt up to it. I would lay out with a book, and when it got too hot I’d go inside and write. I’d eat primarily fruit and vegetables dipped in ranch, and I’d buy myself strawberry ice cream for dessert and bundle up in my blanket with a chick flick and turn in early.

Then I’d wake up the next day and do it all over again.

I’d take bike rides into the quiet town and find hidden locations. I wouldn’t have to be with anyone I didn’t want to see–I wouldn’t have to make forced conversation or come up with substantial smalltalk. I’d talk to myself sometimes, but I wouldn’t miss not having another person around to cloud my personal thoughts. It’d just be for one week, anyway. And I’d like to rediscover what I really think.

I’d like to return a changed person. I think this is just the sort of trip that could change me, or perhaps refresh me. I’ve been running pretty low lately and this seems like the perfect solution.

Of course, this isn’t going to happen. It’s not like I have access to a beach house in Florida, or even a car of my own for that matter.

So I guess for now I’m stuck in Ohio, dreading certain people and responsibilities that I’ve never been able to avoid, living this life miserably, waiting yearning for warmer days and the appearance of the sun.