MAYBE APRIL IS ALWAYS HARD

Dear Reader,

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this or not, but I’m collecting stuff from this year and turning it into a book. It’s not really for anyone–it’s just a glorified journal, really. In fact, with the posts I’ve been writing so far, I probably won’t want anyone else to read it.

Anyway, I’m organizing the stuff for April because I just realized that it’s almost halfway over, and looking back through it all, it’s been pretty rocky.

And then looking back to last year’s April–well, that was really rocky, too. (I can’t even listen to my April (2015) playlist in order because it automatically causes tears to spring to my eyes)

But maybe April is always hard. Maybe it’s the pressure of final deadlines and the struggle of not being able to combat my laziness/habits that come with ADD. I actually already wrote a post for tonight about how much I hate being a person with ADD, but that turned out to be really self-deprecating and just mean (I didn’t feel like holding back), so I decided not to post it.

Tucked it away for my journal, instead.

And then I looked back at the journal entries I’ve made throughout April and all the other blog posts I haven’t been able to publish because they’re too dark or whatever–and then I went on my Instagram.

I’ve been doing this picture-a-day challenge and everyday, there’s a new picture of me, grinning wide, often with people, looking so happy.

My April looks so happy.

And at times, it has been. I’ve had some good memories this month and I’ve taken pictures with people who mean a lot to me.

But I’ve also cried in class.

I’ve also stayed awake all night, worrying about all the stuff I need to do,

all the while, not being able to gain the momentum to get it done.

I’ve questioned just about everything I’ve done this semester

and I’m pretty sure I’ve done just about everything wrong.

So here I am, writing this in the library. It’s past midnight so the weekend is over. The week I’m dreading has technically begun, and it’s that time of year where I need this semester to be over just as much as I need more time.

I know I’ll get through it, though. I know May will come and soon I’ll be home with my sister and April will just be a memory I can forget.

But until then, I’ll just keep smiling in my selfies and save my thoughts for my journal.

Sincerely,

Sammy

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THE FOLLOWING MAKES ME HAPPY

Dear Reader,

I’ve recently been going through my “favorites” on Youtube and, let me tell you, there are some hidden gems in there that I have completely forgotten about. So, I thought I’d share some videos that either have me laughing out loud or smiling at my screen like an idiot.

NEW GIRL REMIX

This is an act of genius that definitely deserves more views, but, all jokes aside, this might be my new favorite song.

WISDOM TEETH ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE

If you think you’re a hot mess, I promise you, this video will give you some much-needed perspective.

WALK THE MOON – SHUT UP AND DANCE (MOVIE DANCE COMPILATION)

Perfection.

DIVERSITY & INCLUSION – LOVE HAS NO LABELS

I just think this is really important and heartwarming to watch. This is what I like to see.

YANIS MARSHALL CHOREOGRAPHY

I mean it’s three incredible guys killing a routine to a Beyonce medley. In heels. What’s not to love?

ALAN ANDERSEN

I don’t know why it’s named this but it’s a dad calling out every person who slips on this ice as they come around this corner. And it’s hilarious.

GOPRO HERO4: THE ADVENTURE OF LIFE IN 4K

Honestly, I could spend all day watching GoPro videos. But this one is just amazing.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed, and I hope your days are treating you well. Let me know if there are any awesome videos out there that I’m missing.

YouTube makes me happy.

Sincerely,

Sammy

PS. 🙂

LET’S TAKE A WALK THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL {WEEK ?}

Hey guys,

This is awkward.

I haven’t posted a traditional weekly review (pictures and all) in, what, a month? A month and a half? I’m not going to check, but I don’t really have all that great of an excuse. I guess all I can say is that life gets kind of hard sometimes, and I’ll probably talk more about that in a separate post, but that’s not what this is for.

Let’s remember what this is for. On January 1st, 2015, I decided I would be taking pictures throughout my year and share them on my blog every week so I can document and, therefore, remember some truly great moments at the end of my year.

Now, I’ve been pretty bad at documenting some “truly great moments” for the past few weeks but, nevertheless, I’m going to share what I’ve got. Let’s begin.

I guess it all kind of started when I came back to school, which, let’s be honest, I was not all too excited for. You want to know why? Because this is what happens to me at school.

And this.

These were taken three days apart. Yay.

But school still means I get to see my friends

and partake in some pretty memorable nights.

And, I’ve got to say, I have some pretty great friends.

Friends who will go to Pulley with you at 1am

and make you fraps

and smoothies

and buy you pizza when they’re drunk.

And I’m proud to say that I’m starting a new friendship with fellow blogger Taisie. A friendship that should’ve started months ago, but the letter sort of got lost in the mail. I guess that’s the downside of doing things the old fashioned way.

Still, I’m excited to finally have a pen pal! I just have to get around to figuring out how to mail my response. (College is kind of confusing. Can I buy stamps with Mulaa?)

And then this past weekend, a friend in high school came and visited me. And, because she’ll be coming here next year, I had to show her a true Miami weekend.

She sent this to her mom.

So I sent it to mine.

Also, while going through my camera roll, I noticed I like to take snapchats of food (that I mostly just send to Sarah).

I’m really going to miss Miami Dining this summer.

Other random things: I found a new favorite spot on campus (Benson)

and I got a new sweatshirt for initiation because my parents know me so well.

Sean, my brother, also turned 20 so I posted this throwback that I find hilarious

There’s also a screenshot of Thomas Saunders because he makes me so happy, and just look at his face!

Plus screenshots from my time hop, where tweets from last year’s spring break kept popping up. To date that is my favorite vacation ever.

And there’s a sneak peak of my new book that just makes me laugh. (Oh yeah, I started another book, and I wrote over 20k words in less than two weeks, so that’s another reason why I went MIA).

Finally, there’s this picture.

And this one because I couldn’t decide which I liked better.

But that was the day I shared my 100th post on here, and broke my record for most likes in a day. And the next day, I shared something really personal and got some truly heartwarming responses. It never ceases to amaze me how supportive this website has been for me. And it really means more than I ever thought.

I don’t know, it’s just nice to have something you’re so proud of be shared with people who are eager to see what you want to do next.

Still, it’s kind of weird that this is kept secret from so many people in my life. But this message that my sister sent me really made me laugh.

I think it’s a good deal.

WEEK 13: IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE…

Dear Reader,

If we were having coffee, I would probably spend the first twenty minutes ranting about my computer. I’d tell you how it was working fine, and was almost fully charged, when the log-in screen froze. I’d explain that I shut it down and didn’t touch it for two hours, and when I turned it back on, there was a flashing folder icon with a question mark on it. I then took it to Shriver’s IT Tech place, and found out that there is a very good chance I could lose everything.

I’d tell you that I have pictures on there and pieces I’ve written that are irreplaceable. I’d explain that I’ve kept a journal on a word document since the sixth grade, and I’d admit how scared I am that it might now be gone.

Then I’d probably have to change the subject because it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

So I’d tell you about my spring break. How it was really relaxing and I got to see some really good friends of mine that I’ve really missed. I’d explain why my phone was dead for the majority of break, but I’d tell you how much I actually liked being disconnected for a while. How good it felt to have no responsibilities, and just be able to watch episodes of Chuck and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix.

I’d ask you how your spring break went, of course, and if you went somewhere warm or exciting I’d tell you how jealous I am of you, and beg you to bring me along with you next time. I’d tell you how it snowed one day in Perrysburg.

I’d probably share some of my favorite things with you, if we were having coffee. I’d say, “You know who I’ve been obsessed with recently?” and you’d ask “who?” and I’d say “Hozier.” Then I’d talk about how amazing his full album is and how his Pandora is always on point.

I’d also lend you Jenny Lawson’s memoir, which I just finished today. I’d probably pull it out and read you the whole chapter titled, “And That’s Why You Should Pick Your Battles,” because it’s the best chapter in the whole book. I’d explain how I write down quotes from the books that I read to put in a jar and reflect upon, come 2016, and I’d tell you that there are probably 20 from this book going in there. I’d tell you how embarrassed I would get when I read it in public because it made me laugh out loud so much.

“Speaking of books!” I’d say. “Have you seen all these Youtubers coming out with books all of a sudden?!” We’d talk about how weird it is that 18-year-olds are writing memoirs and their life stories, but we’d both probably agree that we’d eventually read the ones by Carrie Hope Fletcher, Connor Franta, Shane Dawson, Tanya Burr, Dan & Phil, Mamrie, and Shay’s. Then we’d complain about how expensive books can be and how poor we are.

I’d tell you all of this if we were having coffee, but I’d probably have to cut our get-together short because I have two papers due tomorrow that I have yet to complete. You’d wish me luck on the long night I have ahead of me and I’d promise to text you sometime next week to schedule another date. We’d agree that we need to have more of these.

Sincerely,

Sammy