THE FOLLOWING MAKES ME HAPPY

Dear Reader,

I’ve recently been going through my “favorites” on Youtube and, let me tell you, there are some hidden gems in there that I have completely forgotten about. So, I thought I’d share some videos that either have me laughing out loud or smiling at my screen like an idiot.

NEW GIRL REMIX

This is an act of genius that definitely deserves more views, but, all jokes aside, this might be my new favorite song.

WISDOM TEETH ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE

If you think you’re a hot mess, I promise you, this video will give you some much-needed perspective.

WALK THE MOON – SHUT UP AND DANCE (MOVIE DANCE COMPILATION)

Perfection.

DIVERSITY & INCLUSION – LOVE HAS NO LABELS

I just think this is really important and heartwarming to watch. This is what I like to see.

YANIS MARSHALL CHOREOGRAPHY

I mean it’s three incredible guys killing a routine to a Beyonce medley. In heels. What’s not to love?

ALAN ANDERSEN

I don’t know why it’s named this but it’s a dad calling out every person who slips on this ice as they come around this corner. And it’s hilarious.

GOPRO HERO4: THE ADVENTURE OF LIFE IN 4K

Honestly, I could spend all day watching GoPro videos. But this one is just amazing.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed, and I hope your days are treating you well. Let me know if there are any awesome videos out there that I’m missing.

YouTube makes me happy.

Sincerely,

Sammy

PS. 🙂

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LET’S TAKE A WALK THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL {WEEK ?}

Hey guys,

This is awkward.

I haven’t posted a traditional weekly review (pictures and all) in, what, a month? A month and a half? I’m not going to check, but I don’t really have all that great of an excuse. I guess all I can say is that life gets kind of hard sometimes, and I’ll probably talk more about that in a separate post, but that’s not what this is for.

Let’s remember what this is for. On January 1st, 2015, I decided I would be taking pictures throughout my year and share them on my blog every week so I can document and, therefore, remember some truly great moments at the end of my year.

Now, I’ve been pretty bad at documenting some “truly great moments” for the past few weeks but, nevertheless, I’m going to share what I’ve got. Let’s begin.

I guess it all kind of started when I came back to school, which, let’s be honest, I was not all too excited for. You want to know why? Because this is what happens to me at school.

And this.

These were taken three days apart. Yay.

But school still means I get to see my friends

and partake in some pretty memorable nights.

And, I’ve got to say, I have some pretty great friends.

Friends who will go to Pulley with you at 1am

and make you fraps

and smoothies

and buy you pizza when they’re drunk.

And I’m proud to say that I’m starting a new friendship with fellow blogger Taisie. A friendship that should’ve started months ago, but the letter sort of got lost in the mail. I guess that’s the downside of doing things the old fashioned way.

Still, I’m excited to finally have a pen pal! I just have to get around to figuring out how to mail my response. (College is kind of confusing. Can I buy stamps with Mulaa?)

And then this past weekend, a friend in high school came and visited me. And, because she’ll be coming here next year, I had to show her a true Miami weekend.

She sent this to her mom.

So I sent it to mine.

Also, while going through my camera roll, I noticed I like to take snapchats of food (that I mostly just send to Sarah).

I’m really going to miss Miami Dining this summer.

Other random things: I found a new favorite spot on campus (Benson)

and I got a new sweatshirt for initiation because my parents know me so well.

Sean, my brother, also turned 20 so I posted this throwback that I find hilarious

There’s also a screenshot of Thomas Saunders because he makes me so happy, and just look at his face!

Plus screenshots from my time hop, where tweets from last year’s spring break kept popping up. To date that is my favorite vacation ever.

And there’s a sneak peak of my new book that just makes me laugh. (Oh yeah, I started another book, and I wrote over 20k words in less than two weeks, so that’s another reason why I went MIA).

Finally, there’s this picture.

And this one because I couldn’t decide which I liked better.

But that was the day I shared my 100th post on here, and broke my record for most likes in a day. And the next day, I shared something really personal and got some truly heartwarming responses. It never ceases to amaze me how supportive this website has been for me. And it really means more than I ever thought.

I don’t know, it’s just nice to have something you’re so proud of be shared with people who are eager to see what you want to do next.

Still, it’s kind of weird that this is kept secret from so many people in my life. But this message that my sister sent me really made me laugh.

I think it’s a good deal.

20 THINGS SOMEONE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM WISHES THEY COULD TELL YOU

Sorry if this doesn’t live up to the unexpected hype.

Inspired by this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/danielle-montgomery/eating-disorders_b_6636502.html

1. I envy you for being able to fill up Facebook albums with good picture after good picture, when I spend my days untagging myself and hiding photos on my timeline.
2. I don’t hate pictures. I hate myself.
3. I wish I could jump in front of the camera as easily as you. I really do.
4. I’m sorry that I cancel on you so much but some days I feel too hideous to leave my room.
5. I don’t ever do this for attention. I don’t call myself ugly or fat to try and fish for compliments.
6. In fact, some days I hate your compliments. I don’t know how to react. I can’t just accept it and move on when I know it’s not the truth.
7. More than anything do I wish I could just believe you when you tell me I’m pretty or thin, but I can’t help but think that you’re lying. There’s no way you’re seeing something different than what I see in the mirror.
8. And let me tell you: the mirror changes everything. I could be having a great day, but then I’ll pass by a window or a bus will drive by and I’ll catch some sort of reflection.
9. I’m happiest when I can completely forget what I look like.
10. I can’t stop myself from constantly comparing myself to those around me.
11. I know beauty isn’t everything. Believe me, sometimes I hate my personality even more than the way I look. My self esteem issues aren’t just skin-deep.
12. I also know that beauty is important. And when I’m standing around talking to no one when all the girls around me are chatting up someone cute, the first thing I blame is the way I look.
13. It’s also the first thing I blame when I reflect upon the lack of interest guys express towards me.
14. I hate being insecure. I don’t believe it’s cute or naive or humble that I don’t think I’m beautiful. I know that it’s weak and stupid and it’s just another thing I hate about myself.
15. I have a list of physical features I despise about myself. And every time you make a comment about one of them, it’s burned into my brain.
16. Trust me, I didn’t discover my cankles or knock knees or flat feet or weird hairline on my own. Someone pointed each of these out to me.
17. That being said, new discoveries are now fairly easy for me to make, all by myself.
18. Trust me, if I thought going to group or talking about it would help, I would.
19. But for the record, I don’t think it would. The only solution I can possibly think of involves changing almost everything about me.
20. I will never expect you to understand me and why I feel like this as I don’t think I even understand myself.

PRELUDE

Dear Reader,

I don’t know about many of you, but for me, blogging is this weird but wonderful outlet where I can be creative and reflective, but still social and interactive. In that way, it’s different than a journal, but it still has many qualities of one.

My friend Ashley (CollegewithAshley) and I were talking about this the other day and, while we both agreed we’d probably never be the people to share our blog posts on our Facebook pages, we have to admit that our writing isn’t necessarily private.

And I guess it never really had that intent. The first people I told were close friends from home, and I told them it was a secret. It even took a month before I told Sarah. But now I find myself casually bringing it up in conversation and sending a link to my sorority sisters. And Ashley’s parents read hers, which is a day my blog may never see.

So it’s true: this is the censored version of me. The one who never cusses and tries to cut herself off around 500 words. (You should see my journal–I ramble on aimlessly for pages and it’s a rare day when I don’t drop the F-bomb. )

So why am I telling you this?

Specifically, because of what I’m going to post tomorrow.

I am very unsure of who I am, but I try to use my writing to help me. Writing brings me clarity. It helps me understand and explain my often misunderstood thoughts. It’s often hard for me to voice exactly how I feel, but when I’m writing, things are easier.

So tomorrow I will be posting a list of things I wish I could tell people. A list that I wrote in February after reading this article, but never posted because I thought of the people that would inevitably read it. Of Jaden and Kassara and Ashley and my sister and who knows who else.

But when it comes down to it, this list was one of the most reflective things I’ve done, and I’d like to share it. I’d like to be able to tell my closest friends things I’m only now admitting to myself and I’d like to share it with strangers on the internet who might just feel the same way.

I don’t know, maybe this’ll all make more sense when I post the list. Maybe you’ll know then why it scares me so much to publish this entry and the next. Because I’m so terrified of being this vulnerable. Because I’m so scared of even the people closest to me seeing who I really am. How I really think.

But I guess there’s no going back now.

Sincerely,

Sammy

{ESC} BOOK EIGHT: LET’S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED

Some of my favorite books to read are autobiographies–especially those written by women. The ones that shatter the ridiculously outdated notion that women are not funny. To anyone who may still think this way, I’m sure you’ve been encouraged to read those of Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling, Chelsea Handler. Theirs could all gladly prove you wrong. But here’s another suggestion.

Jenny Lawson. Don’t know who that is? I didn’t either, but I continuously saw her book ranked high on the lists, sitting pretty, ahead of some of these greats. So I asked for it for Christmas, knowing nothing more than the fact that this woman is called “The Blogess.”

And now I feel like I know too much. I certainly know more than I had asked for.

But let me tell you: this book may be the funniest book I’ve read to date. I found myself laughing out loud within the first five minutes of sitting down with it. And it couldn’t have come at a better time. Lately, I’ve been pretty disappointed with my book choices, so it was great to finally read a 5-star one again.

Lawson’s life has been absolutely ridiculous since her beginning–so ridiculous that I often found myself believing that there’s no way all of this actually happened. But then I thought, okay, if she is making half of this stuff up, I’d still have to give her props, because there’s no one alive with a crazier imagination.

There’s not much I have to say about this book, not because I’m worried about spoiling it, but because you just have to read it for yourself to fully appreciate and try to understand the life of Jenny Lawson.

Yeah, good luck.

Sincerely,

Sammy

WEEK 13: IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE…

Dear Reader,

If we were having coffee, I would probably spend the first twenty minutes ranting about my computer. I’d tell you how it was working fine, and was almost fully charged, when the log-in screen froze. I’d explain that I shut it down and didn’t touch it for two hours, and when I turned it back on, there was a flashing folder icon with a question mark on it. I then took it to Shriver’s IT Tech place, and found out that there is a very good chance I could lose everything.

I’d tell you that I have pictures on there and pieces I’ve written that are irreplaceable. I’d explain that I’ve kept a journal on a word document since the sixth grade, and I’d admit how scared I am that it might now be gone.

Then I’d probably have to change the subject because it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

So I’d tell you about my spring break. How it was really relaxing and I got to see some really good friends of mine that I’ve really missed. I’d explain why my phone was dead for the majority of break, but I’d tell you how much I actually liked being disconnected for a while. How good it felt to have no responsibilities, and just be able to watch episodes of Chuck and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix.

I’d ask you how your spring break went, of course, and if you went somewhere warm or exciting I’d tell you how jealous I am of you, and beg you to bring me along with you next time. I’d tell you how it snowed one day in Perrysburg.

I’d probably share some of my favorite things with you, if we were having coffee. I’d say, “You know who I’ve been obsessed with recently?” and you’d ask “who?” and I’d say “Hozier.” Then I’d talk about how amazing his full album is and how his Pandora is always on point.

I’d also lend you Jenny Lawson’s memoir, which I just finished today. I’d probably pull it out and read you the whole chapter titled, “And That’s Why You Should Pick Your Battles,” because it’s the best chapter in the whole book. I’d explain how I write down quotes from the books that I read to put in a jar and reflect upon, come 2016, and I’d tell you that there are probably 20 from this book going in there. I’d tell you how embarrassed I would get when I read it in public because it made me laugh out loud so much.

“Speaking of books!” I’d say. “Have you seen all these Youtubers coming out with books all of a sudden?!” We’d talk about how weird it is that 18-year-olds are writing memoirs and their life stories, but we’d both probably agree that we’d eventually read the ones by Carrie Hope Fletcher, Connor Franta, Shane Dawson, Tanya Burr, Dan & Phil, Mamrie, and Shay’s. Then we’d complain about how expensive books can be and how poor we are.

I’d tell you all of this if we were having coffee, but I’d probably have to cut our get-together short because I have two papers due tomorrow that I have yet to complete. You’d wish me luck on the long night I have ahead of me and I’d promise to text you sometime next week to schedule another date. We’d agree that we need to have more of these.

Sincerely,

Sammy