Isn’t this weird? For six months now I’ve been writing letters (I guess you could call them) to the internet. To you. To all of you. And they’re just kind of meaningless shouts into the universe that aren’t necessarily intended to be heard. Not expected to be heard.
But here we are. Here I am sharing very personal things, when you think about it, to the internet. Here I am talking about ADD and how hard college can be and my awful self esteem issues and sometimes very strongly alluding to the fact that not everything is okay. When in real life, with real people that I really interact with, I never do that. I mean things really aren’t that bad with me–they never are–but I never let people know they could be! Not when I can portray this “everything’s perfectly fine, just like always” facade.
But here I am. Sharing my writing–my personal writing. And being ambitious! Talking about the future as if I have a clue. Casually mentioning my novels as if it’s inevitable that I’ll finish them. When really, in real life, most people don’t even know that I have one–not to mention two–works in progress. Most people don’t even know that I’m pursuing writing.
But here you are, and you might know that. You might know me more than some people I’ve known since the 90s, and that’s weird.
And now there’s 200 of you. That’s what’s this is–a thank you. I know, kind of a weird one, but that’s what this is. Because yeah, it’s weird–so weird–but it’s happening. I’m letting it happen. Letting it be. And I thank you.
I mean, I thank all 200 of the people who decided (for some reason) to click that button and follow me. Honestly, why? Ha, I’m just kidding. Sort of. But mostly, I thank you. I mean, 200 people aren’t going to see this post. Most people that follow me just kind of do it and then that’s the last they see of me. Which brings me back to the question, why?
But maybe 20 people will read this. Probably 10 people will. And one will be me, and another will be Ashley, and another will be Kassara, and another will be my sister in a few months when she remembers, “Oh yeah, Sammy does that thing on the internet.”
Anyway, I’m talking to you–sister and friends and random people on the internet. You reading this letter. I never expected, well, anything from WordPress, but it has done wonders. It’s boosted my confidence and encouraged me to interact and reach out to others. It’s allowed me to be myself and explore my life and everything I want it to become.
Honestly, this place inspires me. To travel and write and share and connect and live. And it happens to me every day.
And I can just tell that I’m growing, which is something I never really noticed before.
So it’s weird, internet, but it’s a good weird.
I’m just happy you’re here.
And I’m happy I’m here too.