50 FACTS ABOUT ME THAT YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR

A lyric essay I tried out for a composition class I took this fall. It’s pretty dramatic and a tad more personal than what I’ve been posting lately, but I thought it’s been a while since I’ve shared my writing, so here it goes:

1. My name is Samantha.
2. I was born on September 11th.
3. I like to be called Sam even though I always introduce myself as Sammy.
4. I become obsessed with new songs, but they die when I overplay play them long before the radio has a chance.
5. I never think of a good comeback or a witty remark or the right thing to say until the moment has passed.
6. I never seem to find the perfect word I’m searching for until it’s too late.
7. I still have a baby tooth.
8. Sometimes I’ll laugh at a joke that I don’t get and I’ll get really scared that someone is going to make me explain that joke and I’ll be exposed as a fraud. That never really happens though.
9. I laugh a lot but oftentimes my laugh is too loud. I’m sorry.
10. A few years ago I tried to train myself to laugh differently. It didn’t work.
11. I wish I didn’t care so much what people think about me.
12. I’m half-Canadian.
13. I love maps, trains, and nights when the moon is full.
14. I hate when people say they like the rain but then they stay inside all day and have the audacity to complain about feeling lazy.
15. I love watching the rain from a cozy place inside just as much as I love splashing, dancing, and going on walks during rainstorms.
16. I get sick a lot.
17. Sometimes I’ll try a ring on at a store because I’ll forget what size I am and then it’ll get stuck and my face will turn red.
18. I’m easily embarrassed.
19. I trip over my feet just as much as I trip over my words. (A lot.)
20. I break things a lot but I didn’t realize that about myself until senior year when my friends pointed it out after I broke our school’s rain stick. This is when I started the list of things I’ve broken. It has over 20 items on it. I’m sorry.
21. Sometimes I read in different accents. Not often, and only if it’s logical, but it happens.
22. My favorite accent is an Indian accent.
23. Sometimes I talk to myself. I read somewhere that it makes you smarter, but sometimes I just like practicing how to speak and say different things in the hopes that maybe one day I’ll get better.
24. I google everything.
25. I overshare.
26. I eat when I’m bored.
27. I eat when I’m sad.
28. I eat because food tastes good and eating is fun and sometimes I accidentally schedule two lunches on the same day but I’ll eat at both because I don’t want my friends to feel like I’m watching them eat.
29. I never hate myself while I’m eating, but I hate myself every time I look in the mirror.
30. I pull accidental all-nighters sometimes because I’ll get so caught up in whatever I’m working on that I won’t want to sleep. Sometimes there’s just not enough time.
31. I pull on-purpose all-nighters sometimes because I procrastinate.
32. My high school GPA embarasses my father.
33. I’ve dreamed of being a lounge singer in London and I’ve dreamed of writing a textbook. I didn’t particularly pursue these dreams, but they both formed within the last two years.
34. Sometimes during soccer my heart would randomly start beating out of my chest, and other times I would stand up too quickly and my vision would go black around the edges. I thought this happened to everyone, but I guess I just have an autonomic dysfunction, so I need to eat more salt.
35. I love beef jerky. And ketchup. (Not together you weirdos)
36. I don’t care for nutella.
37. I don’t speak up. Most of the time I wait too long or am just too afraid of messing up or sounding stupid and I miss my chance.
38. I have ADD.
39. Sometimes I won’t realize I’ve been singing or humming until you’ve asked me to stop.
40. Same goes for shaking my leg or tapping my hand or any other continuous movement. I’m sorry.
41. I have to remind myself to listen, smile, and look otherwise engaged when people are talking to me.
42. I get distracted by eye contact and forget to listen to the words that are coming out of the person’s mouth.
43. If I didn’t hear what you said, I might ask you to repeat it. If I didn’t hear it a second time, I will probably just smile and chuckle.
44. I’ll wholeheartedly agree with something I don’t believe in if I haven’t been paying attention. Which is often.
45. I stare into space a lot and sometimes it looks like I’m glaring at people. I’m sorry.
46. Sometimes I’ll accidentally spoil a book for myself because my eyes will wander to the last paragraph before I’ve read a single sentence on that page.
47. I start sentences that don’t go anywhere. It’s hard for me to control my train of thought. Sometimes there’s just too much in my brain.
48. I thought this happened to most everyone. I thought this was relatable. After all, I felt like I related to my peers, so I assumed they’d relate to me in turn.
49. I never wanted to be the same, I just wanted to be normal.
50. You write a lot. I know. I’m sorry.

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