This week has truly been one of the worst of my life. I know that sounds extremely dramatic, and may be troubling to hear, but in all honesty my life has not been terrible. I haven’t had to endure many tragedies or go through anything too awful (that I can think of, at least–unless I’m just repressing some things), so understand that this is all relative.
That being said, this week I have been more tired and stressed than I have ever been before (I kid you not–I fell asleep writing a paper and when I woke up there were some very confusing sentences that lead me to believe that I actually wrote part of it in my sleep). I’ve never felt worse about myself and I’ve never been so close to a nervous breakdown for so long. Everything just seems to build up and, though I’ve let some of it out, I know it’s only a matter of time before something truly pushes me over the edge and I burst.
Now, these are just the lows. I’ve felt this low for a majority of the week, but I’ve also had some highs. I’ve had some wonderful moments this week and I’ve truly laughed much more than usual.
I guess what I’m saying is that this whole week has been one big, draining, emotional roller coaster. But that’s college I suppose.
I promise I do have a point for writing this, though. Something that all of this has done is inspired me to write. I started off the week writing more than usual (just on small projects and my working novels and things like that), but when finals week started approaching faster and faster, I had to put it all on pause. Since then, I’ve had more inspiration than I know what to do with. Everything either reminds me of a character from my book or a potential blog post or a change I could make in my lyric essay. And it’s been really hard not to give in, even though I really don’t have the time to.
So, what I’ve decided to announce, is that I think I’m going to start sharing some of my writing. I don’t know how much within the next week, considering I still have finals to worry about, but I’m going to start putting myself out there. First, probably, with stupid little thoughts I decide to fashion into something creative, but then maybe some personal essays or memoir-type writings and things like that.
Because, honestly, that’s why my blog exists. I’m just writing whatever comes to mind, sharing anything I like, and interacting with people just like me. And people much different from me.
I’m just kind of going in whatever direction I feel like, and this is how I feel right now. And I just thought I’d let anyone know that wanted to, because this is something I’ve very much looking forward to.
PS. Song of the moment for me is Yellow Flicker Beat by Lorde. It’s from the Mockingjay soundtrack and it’s really hard to listen to without singing along.
4 thoughts on “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TITLE THIS SO JUST READ IT IF YOU WANT”
Sounds like a lot of us has had quite the week, Sammy. :l And I have to be honest too, I had some laughs and good times at school as well. But.. I dunno. Persistent emotions.
For some reason though, it keeps life.. interesting. O.o
That is does, Atherz. That it does.
Let your light shine, lean into God, He desires to be your strength. I was touched by your writing.
Thank you for your kind comment. It means a lot to me that you feel that way.