I don’t know why, but when the sun comes down and you’re alone with nothing to do but think back and reflect on everything you’re doing, everything that’s happening, everything you’ve done–that’s when everything comes tumbling down.
At night, everything is such a big deal. You analyze everything that’s happened in your day, or some days you only analyze the bad, and that’s when the shit hits the fan. You start to think that everyone hates you or everyone is judging you or you just come to the conclusion that you’re wasting your time. And you think of how these days are going by so fast and you have so much to do! You think about it all at night, and it kind of freaks you out.
But then a miraculous event occurs–the sun comes up.
It happens everyday, folks. The sun rises and the world is filled with light and you walk outside onto the beautiful Earth and something’s different.
Nothing changes, really. You still have all the same problems. You still feel ugly, you’re still not talking to your sister, you’re still running out of time. But something happens. Anything. And it gives you hope.
Yesterday, specifically, someone reached out. It was a girl I had met at a program before classes started who was really cool, but we got caught up in welcome week and sort of lost contact. But we decided to meet up and just the idea that I could be making a new friend, a real connection, very soon, makes me happy.
And then I went onto social media. Twitter, Yik Yak, I don’t remember, but it was funny. I simply looked at my phone and experienced people being their usual hysterical, ridiculous selves.
That’s all you have to do. Find the little things in life–the things that make a smile creep across your face so stealthily you couldn’t stop it if you tried. Find at least one thing every day and hold onto it until another something wonderful happens.
Now, I’m fortunate enough to say that I’ve never had a suicidal thought in my life and I actually started writing this post because lately I’ve been really down in the dumps at night, and that’s when I write. And I write a lot. So I thought I’d write this entry because I don’t want any of my readers or friends to get depressed or concerned reading my posts and I don’t want my blog to be some negative whirlpool. So I wanted to share this little insight. Advice, if you will.
But the truth it, today is Suicide Awareness Day. Too many young people (and too many people in general) are feeling so hopeless and unloved that they’re ending their own lives. I can’t fathom how people can be pushed to this limit, or how their own peers and “friends” and family can be the ones to push them, but it’s a problem. As human beings, we need to be there for each other and just be nice.
Oh my goodness, just be nice.
I promise you it’s not that hard to smile at a stranger or compliment someone every once in a while. And I promise you that everything is worse at night. So just wait until you wake up and start a new day.
PS. Here’s one of my favorite songs ever (the original and a lovable cover): Here Comes the Sun