I’m not sure if I mentioned this before but I don’t cry in movies anymore. And I’ve been trying to figure out what this means.
I used to cry during anything remotely touching. I bawled in every disney movie from Finding Nemo to Tangled. I cried tears of happiness whenever Jim & Pam’s story would play out. I even teared up during America’s Got Talent auditions because there was a male gymnast or something that followed his dream even though his parents didn’t approve because it was too feminine. But all of a sudden, I’ve stopped.
I recently watched The Fault in our Stars and Rent. Story lines that are heartbreaking and tragic and tear-jerking. But not a single tear of mine was shed.
So what’s wrong with me? Am I becoming heartless? Or am I growing up? I’d like to think not!
The other day in my journalism class we interviewed a soldier who is in the 82nd Airborne. These soldiers are always combat ready and this particular medic will drop into enemy territory to help our wounded soldiers survive and come back home. This man’s grandmother was in the room and broke down, crying, when asked how she feels about this. All she could muster was how incredibly proud she is of him and how he’s such a wonderful guy. When the pair left, our teacher explained why she had earlier stopped the soldier from describing his duty in more detail. “I couldn’t do that to his poor grandmother,” she explained. “I knew what was going through her mind: the fact that she might outlive her grandson.”
And there I sat in class, tearing up because of how harsh reality can be sometimes.
So maybe that’s it. Maybe I’m just having trouble believing in fiction. Sure, a love story between two doomed cancer patients is tragic, but how often does that happen? I’ve surely never seen it. I guess it’s just hard for me to relate unless it’s happening right in front of me.
Sorry for this probably pointless post. Just another example of how the sole purpose of my writing is for my own clarity. Sorry if that’s not very entertaining. Thanks for sticking with me nonetheless.